sWeEt sIxTeEn

the day she went away

date:2-11-2004,All Souls' Day
Such a beautiful and holy day, such a wonderful and timely death...
Forgive me..i tink i'm going mad..it was after the SS paper when i received news of gran's death...and i was stunned..really, i could think of nothing at all..the world was spinning..
I knew I had to go home,I had to catch a glimpse of her bfore her burial..but I juz felt so lost, so alone in my room..
Then, I finally recovered and realised that I had to go down to the office to have my passport back, so I went over to LeeFang's room to get her to accompany me..by then, I was lyk..really flustered and stuff, and I really couldnt stop my legs from walking so fast...really so lost
On the 170 bus..dunnoe why, I was lyk stuck in the midst of elderly pp..front got 1 old woman, back got 1 old man, then beside me got 4-5 elderly pp..oh my gosh, I really felt lyk crying lo...
Then it was in the Sacred Heart Cathedral that I met up with everyone else..aunt was crying, but she din dare go inside coz she's got this fear of dead things..I wish I din too..coz the moment I did, tears started flowing..and wad the hell..we had to sing 'Amazing Grace' when everyone could barely speak..
I walked to the coffin where she lay..really lyk a doll..so beautiful and ancient..she had lipstick on too..for the first time in her life..and she looked really at peace..I had this uncanny feeling that her chest was still moving..aargh..esther too..but no one believed us lo..why does everyone believe the doctor and not us?

posted by baba~~ @ 5:23 PM